The solace is in the journey
It has been approximately 5 months (153 days to be precise) since I moved to Australia…
I don’t know when the nomadic life chose me or I chose the nomadic life. I was living in Jakarta prior to this and moved to Sydney with my company on a work visa and bid adieu to the land of smiles, warmth and constant sunshine on November 10th 2019.
After staying in company housing in North Sydney for a month. I started scouting for houses and moved to Manly with the hopes of a perfect OZ summer and start the journey here. The summers were going to start, which everyone vouched is the best time to be in Sydney. I was ready to soak it all in. World class beaches with sun shining all through the coldest parts of the year elsewhere, I was ready for my summer experience.
Have you ever felt like you had a vision of how a place should be and then the reality is completely different? That was my experience in a nutshell. At the beginning of the year, Australia was burning. The bush fires were unlike anything that happened before. We woke up to mornings of smog and grey skies, definitely one of the worst fires in recent history. The heart of the country and the coasts were all burning. Everyone was helpless at nature’s wrath.
One big factor for moving to OZ was the surf and its also one of the first things I realized about Sydney — the water was COLD. Icy cold. From the warm waters of Indonesia and friendly locals who would share waves. I was suddenly surrounded by competitive, sometimes aggressive surfers and the waters didn’t feel welcoming at all. The rips and currents were strong just like the waves here and the amount of strength it took to paddle and catch a wave almost made me give up something I had so desperately fallen in love with. Combine this with water which was excruciatingly cold, every paddle and surf session felt like a test. Was I too weak for Australia?
Now that I look back at the last 5 months, its not been an easy ride, it was my first experience of living outside Asia. Though I have been an expat before and have widely traveled within Asia, I experienced some initial culture shocks. The big one was I definitely had a tough time socializing. I didn’t really know anyone in Sydney and only had the coordinates of one acquaintance passed by a common friend from Indonesia. We were also a small team in office hence I couldn’t really get to socialize outside the network. I also sometimes felt like a stranger in the room with a lot of conversations where I felt out of place. I would grade myself as a pretty easy going person and extrovert as well and somehow always felt like was there something I didn’t know. The socializing part has honestly been the biggest barrier and though I wasn’t looking at adding a big list of contacts just for the sake of it, meeting more like minded people would have made the transition to OZ easier. There were times of sudden realization that I had moved farther away from home and that intensified the struggle I was undergoing to feel familiarized and settle into a routine.
5 months later, I don’t know if I have been able to get over this feeling. But I definitely know I feel more at peace. There might have been many factors at play for this transition.
Surfing played a big role in this. I don’t know what changed, but at some point I developed some kind of resilience. I kept going to the beach everyday and trying to get in at least an hour of surf. Between work schedules and daily routines, I tried to squeeze in time amidst waves.
I have a friend who gave me a great advice over a phone call — his exact words were ‘focus on yourself and your story’ and ‘seek solace in your routine’. I started surfing more, easily put in 2–3 hours in the water everyday and its my place of worship, my meditation. My relationship with the ocean is deeply personal and spiritual. I feel it teaches and puts me in my place every time. It rewards me with calm and mellow days for a great surf. There are days when I come back feeling a bit pompous from a great surf session, and the ocean meets me with the most unforgiving swell at days. Enough to put my heart in my mouth and just few paddles leave me gasping at the beach and I go back humbled. The winds and the tides all change, sometimes in a course of few hours, the ocean goes from blue to grey.
Its all in the power of mother nature. Never for a second feel you are in charge. The same sea which was unwelcoming in the beginning seems to be opening up a bit. I feel more at home everytime I paddle in there and spend a few hours chasing waves (sometimes eating crap on a big wave which just decides to wash you).
A big part of my life revolves around the ocean right now. Its my meditation, a place where i want to be secluded despite being surrounded by people. Its my place of zen, where I am the most mindful, totally absorbed in the present.
As I write this journal , summer is almost about to end, a slight winter chill is here and the sunlight peaks through my window. I took a walk to the ocean and ordered my regular cappuccino cup from dyke(Japanese cafe in the corner). The waves look perfect and the neighborhood coffee guy gave me the warmest smile mentioning the day is beautiful. Its one of those idiosyncrasies of living in Sydney — everyone loves talking about the weather and beautiful sunny days never go unnoticed.
I feel like I have arrived. Partially at least. Every day feels a bit more like home as I seek solace in my routine. Every paddle makes the ocean a bit more welcoming and my new home a bit more likable.
Adios for now! The sun is out and the waves are calling…
